Cries In Vain - Bullet For My Valentine

     Lord you know I've cried a thousand tears tonight,
     But nothing seems to quench the thirst you keep on craving,
     But now I need an answer to my prayers and you're not there,
     So why I think you listen, listen.

Today, I feel helpless. Not like I'm lost and all alone and I can't fend for myself no matter how desperate I am, but I feel like no matter what I say, it can't change what's going on around me. Long story short, another one of my friends got married today.


Okay, so I don't exactly consider him a friend any more, since last time I saw him it was when he tore my heart out and trampled it under his cowboy boots as he ran away from his commitment to me, but still. It goes on the list. The list that just keeps growing, of people I know, people who were once my close friends, who I laughed and cried with. People who helped me survive the Hell that is high school, or even before, that now have spouses, and seem to have completely forgotten about me and any other unmarried friends they have.

     Has no one told you, your cries are all in vain,
     And everyone keeps trying to take that all away,
     Has no one told you, your cries are all in vain,
     Your cries.

I just want to call out to them, really. Call out to them and hope they remember everything that we shared as unmarried young-uns. But really, at this point, my cries are all in vain, because they live in a world of their own now, and nobody told me it would be this hard to get over. Nobody told me that my cries would all be in vain, or that everything I knew would be wrenched out of my hands piece by piece as I progressed into adulthood.

     Lord I can't disguise the look inside my eyes,
     The more I try to look away the more I'm staring,
     But now i need an answer to my prayers and your not there,
     So why I think you listen, listen.

I try to pretend it doesn't matter to me; that I'm happy for them and their new state of bliss. Yes, part of me is happy for them. How could I not be happy that they found the one they want to spend the rest of their life with? At the same time, how can I not be bothered that they choose to get married and move on without even so much as a backward thought?


I'm bothered that after they say their "I do's", any of their high school friends who aren't engaged or married at that point seemingly don't matter.

     Has no one told you, your cries are all in vain,
     And everyone keeps trying to take that all away,
     Has no one told you, your cries are all in vain,
     Your cries.

I'm bothered that because I don't want to be married four months out of high school, I'm not worth remembering or talking to.

     Your cries in vain
     Your cries in vain
     Your cries in vain
     Your cries in vain
     I look away

I'm bothered that they won't talk to me, or respond to my messages, or wave to me when we make eye contact in public places.

     Has no one told you, your cries are all in vain,
     And everyone is trying to take that all away,
     Has no one told you, your cries are all in vain,
     Your cries.

I'm bothered that I have no control over it, because right now, all I want is a little control and order in my life, since everything thus far has been hectic and confusing. Moving out, starting college, living away from my family in a completely different city, all my friends getting married and engaged and pregnant and starting their own families, it's all been enough to drive me insane with frustration.

     Has nobody told you when you look away,
     The stories they told you still run through your veins


It scares me to think that my whole evening has been poisoned by such a joyous event as marriage, but seriously. I wish people would think about how their actions could affect or even hurt their friends...